Uh-Oh…My Mom Just Friended Me
Facebook Mom Stalker
Facebook has really revolutionized the way people communicate. With new users climbing onboard every day, the social networking site is now filled with your elementary school classmates, old neighbors, former co-workers, and a plethora of relatives you haven’t seen in years.
Then one day you wake-up and get a friend request…from your Mother.
Yup, your mom just joined Facebook. Uh-oh
Yes, it’s always a shock.
Today, we are going to talk specifically to the Mothers of teens and tweens, and give them a guide for all other Moms-friends out there thinking of jumping in.
Here is how you should handle Facebook friending you children:
#1 Don’t do it.
#2 Don’t do it. See #1 above.
#3 If you ignored #1 and #2 then I guess you are going to do it regardless. (No surprise there Mom!) But, please follow these next steps to the LETTER, so you don’t drive your kids bonkers, and ruin any chance that you will have a civil dinner conversation again until they are married. (Mom, I’m still looking forward to our Thanksgiving).
#4 You are not allowed to ask your kids questions about Facebook, especially regarding friending, tagging, or poking. Ask your friends. Ask a professional, ask your neighbor, ask anyone. Learn how to do it yourself, maybe! You are a smart, intelligent woman who raised herself some fine-looking kids. You can do it!
I Facebooked your Mom
#5 After your kids have denied your friend request 17 times, just give up. It is not because they don’t love you, or are trying to hide something. Actually, you are probably friending the wrong person. I know you spent hours and hours deciding on your kid’s names, but believe it or not – there are probably other kids with the same name (see http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791210). Or maybe your kids don’t want you to show you pictures of them guzzling your vodka (Yeah, the bottles you have now in that “locked” cabinet… they may just be filled with water). Perhaps they are a bit concerned you’ll see all those pics of their indoor slip-n-slide party they had when you went on that cruise to Cozumel. It’s probably nothing as severe as a “Girl’s Gone Wild” moment – but kids can be kids…
#6 If your kids do accept your friend request, please don’t comment on everything that they post. Just feel privileged that they have accepted you into their world and be happy. Feel free to casually spy but please limit your time with wall posting. Give them some internet “space”, you know how moody kids can be…
#7 The above also applies to FRIENDS of your children. Be mindful and respectful of their lives. They don’t want you ratting them out to their parents. (Especially if they were also guzzling your vodka—which reminds me… better keep the booze in that corner of the garage behind the old stationary bike and the box of Danielle Steele books.)
#8 Under no circumstances do you post pictures of your child as a baby—especially in the tub. Or any under embarrassing images from your kid’s short-life. These are NOT to be put on the internet. No, no, no, no.
#9 Remember, your children can see as much of you as you can see of them. I’m not saying you would be up to any nonsense, but don’t be one of those MILFs or Cougars doing prowling on the ‘net. Or if you do, be subtle enough about it that you kids’ don’t see it in their status updates.
Actually – maybe these are reasons why YOU shouldn’t take your kid’s friend requests. They don’t want to see Mom doing vodka shots on her “spa weekend”. Facebook can bring people together, or rip them brutally apart. It is also a bit of a generational thing…What we mean is, that all generations are welcome – they just don’t all have to be together. If your kids don’t want you to play, give them some space till they are ready to connect. It will happen eventually. A least by the time you are a grandmother…
…Also, I had to throw this in the mix. Way too funny for a Monday morning.
Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
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The Bridge
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Angela Altman