So you’ve created the best website known to man. Kudos. Now you want your website to get as many views as possible. You could, of course, go door-to-door asking people what they want in a website (and consequently, risk getting mauled by a rabid dog). You could also make a contract with the devil: He’d tempt everyone in the world to visit your site, and you’d sacrifice goats. However lucky for you web analytics makes life-threatening salesmanship and soul-smashing devil worship unnecessary.

You see, web analytics acts like your high school gym coach. Every once in a while, web analytics will whip your website and demand to know all the details about what has happened to get you in such a low situation or who stole your lunch money. Although this information includes more basic things location of the visitor and their internet connection speed, what web analytics really demands is keyword information. With web analytics software, you, oh worthy one, get to see what keywords made your visitors spend the longest time worshiping your site, gave you high conversion rates (or percentage of visitors that earned you moolah), and delivered you low bounce rates (percentage of lame people who didn’t thoroughly read your site). From this, you are able to cut the losers and reinvest in the winners.

So, Mr., Ms., Mrs., or Mademoiselle Website Guru, I hope you can now understand that web analytics software is what superior human beings like you use to get their websites booming with high quality traffic. Let web analytics enslave your website, and reap you the profits!